PROVERBS FOR MONSTERS
Dark Regions Press, 2007
Proverbs for Monsters (2007)
Cover Art by Matt Schuster'
Description: NEW Full-length collection of the best short horror stories and poems of Arnzen's career so far.
THREE Editions:
- Signed trade paperback, approx 300 pages
ISBN: 1888993545 ($19.99)
- Limited Editions
Hardcover: 100 signed/numbered hardcover editions; ISBN: 1888993529 ($40)Slipcased Leatherbound: 26 signed/lettered editions ($125)
| Highlights | BRAM STOKER AWARD Winner for Superior Achievement in a Fiction Collection |
|---|---|
| Features tales selected for THE YEAR'S BEST HORROR STORIES and also Rhysling Poetry Award nominees |
Cover and Interior Illustrations by Matt Schuster
Order from:
- Horror Mall
- Publisher: Dark Regions Press
- Amazon.com
- Camelot Books
- Realms of Fantasy Books
- Genre Mall
- Ziesing Books
- Shocklines
- The Overlook Connection
Contents:
FICTION
- Domestic Fowl
- Exorcystland
- How to Grow a Man-Eating Plant
- Mr. Mouth
- The Boblin
- People Repellent
- Help Yourself (co-written with Mark McLaughlin)
- The Cow Café
- Immaterial Girl
- Mortichinery
- Fluid Mosaic
- The Blood Ran Out
- Flunking the Assassin
- An Eye for an Eye
- Stretch
- Stabbing for Dummies (co-written with Vincent W. Sakowski)
- The Dead Lantern
- Tugging the Heartstrings
- Counterpoint
- You're Not Getting Sleepy
- Imaginary Trivia
- Throb (co-written with Mark McLaughlin)
- Voodoo Movie Trilogy
- How to Put a Cat to Sleep
- Spring Ahead, Fall Back
- Screwy Louis
- Obictionary
- The Involunteer
- Stress Toy
POETRY
from Proverbs for Monsters (2007)
Interior illo by Matt Schuster
- Proverbs for Monsters
- The Scab
- Unhinged
- Not the Reaper
- Rigormarole
- Fuzzy Bunnies
- Driving the Sick Elephant
- Kids Watch in Horror as Clown Chokes to Death on Balloon!
- Wicked Wickets
- Brazilian Night
- Writhe
- Slay Pen
- grenemean
- Those Who Landed, Surprised to Discover that Zombies had Taken Over the Planet
- Halloween Costumes I Wish I Would Have Seen
- Boy's Heart is on the Outside of His Body
- Laps
- Six Short Films About Chauncey the Serial Killer
- muscle boy
- T-shirt Twirling Red Under Black Tires
- Everfoetal
- Woman, 36, Raped by Teen She Saved from Drowning
- the oral surgeon removes his mask
- The Rub
- Zombeanie Babies
- The Gentlest Monster
- Nightmarried
- In the Box
- Needle Baby
- Resuscitation
- Woman Marries a Shark
- Heartfelt
- Why Zombies Lumber
Praise/Reviews:
"A diverse, amusing, and uniformly well written selection....Arnzen will have broad general appeal, and many of his stories are excellent...well worth your while and deserves to be an award contender." -- Don D'Ammassa, Critical Mass
"Arnzen takes his readers on a guided tour of insanity and the macabre, with a few moments of touching grace combined with repulsive terror. This collection gives the reader a chance to watch Arnzen's growth as a writer over nearly two decades. And, if anything, those seventeen years have made him better than ever....Proverbs for Monsters does not disappoint...this book serves to document the evolution of a great writer." -- Scott Johnson, Dread Central
"In a little over a decade, Michael A. Arnzen has achieved what few writers manage in a lifetime. He has become the master of a brand of literature that is uniquely his own, and I do not doubt that his approach to horror will soon (if it has not already) be referred to as 'Arnzenian.' When you begin an Arnzen story, you embark on a journey where the old maps do not apply. Soon you find yourself deep in new territory, barreling through landscapes more fascinating and twisted than any previously encountered. Be assured, you will be amazed, startled, amused, and creeped out along the way, but whatever the road has in store, you will not be able to stop reading until the story ends. Horrifying, captivating, ironic -- Arnzenian! -- the works of Michael A. Arnzen are in a class all their own. Fasten your seat belts and enjoy the ride!" -- Lawrence C. Connolly, author of Veins
"Mr. Arnzen has been crafting some of the most gleefully vicious and original horror stories ever printed...I urge you to grab a copy of this collection, which features the full range of this author's wild imagination in poetry and prose. [Proverbs for Monsters] is crazy good horror with a sense of humor that leaves the reader with a nervous smile and a sense of unease." -- JL Comeau, Creature Feature
"Deliciously bizarre short stories and poems...Arnzen knows how to spin an original, terrifying bedtime story. At his best, his imaginative style makes him an entertaining guide, capable of clever wordplay that leaves teethmarks. It's clear his writing picks up steam when he takes a few pages to flesh out his fables, waxing inventively..." -- Rue Morgue
"Arnzen is a master at taking ordinary situations and turning them into horrific incidents – an offbeat amusement park, an operation with an unexpected result, a self-help book for an unusual use, and weird trivia, to name a few. His stories are reminiscent of the style of country oral storytellers. You feel as if you’re sitting around a campfire instead of reading in a plush chair. Arnzen relates to readers in a folksy manner in which others are often unable to do....This collection is very deserving of the Stoker Award and other accolades." -- Karen Newman, The Black Glove
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