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“Arnzen could probably find a way to scare us with punctuation.”
Mark Justice, Horror World (review of 100 Jolts)



Moldy Heart

I kept his red blood beater
in my heart-shaped box
lined with green velvet
as my personal valentine –
a gift I could open each year.

But now his misshapen heart
is velveted with a green mold
lining the gaping ventricles
like four obscene mouths –
chambers awaiting some small
treasure I no longer have.


Explanation: I found that list of offbeat phrases in the “Strange Visitors” contest amusing, and began to think of them as titles for poems…I may do more based on the others, if/when time permits.



Grave Markings X & 100 Jolts NOW SHIPPING!

Delirium Books reports that the hardcover edition of Grave Markings has shipped today, so if you ordered a copy, it’s on the way! The sold-out leatherbound edition will ship in about a month. I’m told there are only twelve hardcovers remaining, so if you had any inkling of getting your hands on this Stoker-award winning collectable directly from the publisher, act now! It may be difficult to get from distributors after this week.

Hint: the online bookseller Shocklines, by the way, offers a slight discount on this title if you subscribe to The Goreletter. Sign up and you’ll get the discount coupon.

      Cover of Grave Markings X -- Art by Mike Bohatch

In other news: 100 Jolts is now shipping from the publisher and various booksellers. It hit #3 on the shocklines bookstore bestseller list today!



Open Caskets

the creak of a casket, opening,
sounds awfully undramatic:
the coffin nails slide out brown
and loose on lubricated rust
when the wood bends wet with worms.
The box is as soggy as the body inside –
curing fetid in its pillow of shadow,
wasting

but the smell is what gets you:
pungent as the green snot and silt
cracked out of a sun-roasted oyster
shell, and the information you sought
out here in the soil is no longer worth
chasing

so you scrape dirt back into the hole,
not bothering to nail the limp box shut,
crushing the body beneath the wood
gentle as wet cardboard collapsing
in a trash bin, and you wonder how
one goes about building a better
casing


Explanation: I found that list of offbeat phrases in the “Strange Visitors” contest amusing, and began to think of them as titles for poems…I may do more based on the others, if/when time permits.



Review Race: Update!

UK reader Claire Faulkner wins the “review race” contest from the latest Goreletter, by being the first to post a review of 100 Jolts to amazon.com. Although she certainly could have given a thumbs down and still won the contest, her review was very positive. It reads:

Short, sharp and definitely shocking. Whatever your taste in horror, ’100 Jolts’ will have a story for you. Intensively strong in style and content, highly addictive narrative. Arnzen gives horror again and again in bite sized shorts – you won’t want to put it down. Highly recommended.

For a prize, she’ll be getting her free pick of Arnzen chapbooks: Dying, Gorelets, or Sportuary.

update 4/20:
Shortly thereafter, Tracy Mowdy beat the pack to barnesandnoble.com, comparing 100 Jolts to being strapped into an electric chair.

And I may offer consolation prizes to runner’s up who post reviews of 100 Jolts to either site before the next Goreletter is released, so if you’ve read the book, post your feedback to those online bookstores!

Speaking of reviews, you’ve just gotta read Gary Braunbeck’s awesome review of 100 Jolts, just posted to his wonderful website. It actually made me blush.

Also just in: Flash Fantastic magazine reviews 100 Jolts: “This guy handles flash horror like a skilled surgeon with words that sing darkly. And he didn



WHC 2004

skulljerky.jpg

I had a wonderful time at World Horror Convention 2004 in Phoenix last weekend. Above, is a photo taken during my fiction reading the first day of the con (see RDSP website for a few others), where I read a poem I wrote on the plane — “You Can Leave Her Head On” (a parody of a famous Joe Cocker song you might remember from The Full Monty) in addition to several shorts from 100 Jolts and Gorelets. If you look beside the corny plastic skull on the side table, you might even be able to spot the little canister of beef jerky that — as luck would have it — my old buddy Cary Heater of Borderlands Bookstore “threw onto the stage” during my reading of the latest “Blather” column from The Goreletter.

I sat on two panels during the conference. “Common Mistakes in Writing Horror” featured me, Ramsey Campbell, Stephen Jones, and Alan Beatts. On that panel, Beatts audaciously asked us to confess our very worst mistakes ever, and I had to report that I once wrote a vampire story where a vampire narcissistically sized himself up in a mirror before going off to hunt in the night. Ramsey talked about a telegram a narrator was writing while all along being attacked by Cthulhu…what a riot. And Jones discussed the many ways new writers shoot themselves in the foot when approaching established editors. On the panel “Short Dark Fiction” I discussed the marketplace and pros and cons of the short story genre along with Adam Golanski, Melinda Thielbar, Gene O’Niell and Nancy Kilpatrick. The highlight of this one was the talk about approaching anthology markets, which is difficult when you’re breaking in. Aside from a few bits of advice, I didn’t have too much to contribute to this panel, but I made heavy breathing noises over the microphone and cracked a couple of silly jokes (one writer in the audience talked about how an editor bought HIM a drink in order to talk about what he wanted to see in the submission pile…my reply: “How many ounces per word did ya charge him?”).

The conference was mostly spent catching up with WAY too many friends to list here, and doing too many things I can’t report here. Launching my book 100 Jolts through a debut signing and a conference suite party. The con even published an excerpt from Jolts in the program booklet. Since the stories in that book are so short, it was neat to get feedback from people who had read it just a few minutes after buying it. All in all, I returned home renewed and enthusiastic about the genre. My next one will likely be the HWA Weekend/Bram Stoker Award Banquet in early June. And definitely the Horrorfind Weekend in mid-August.

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