For your next movie night, rent:
American Movie (1999)
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994)
For your next movie night, rent:
American Movie (1999)
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994)
Ugly Bridesmaid Dresses
http://www.uglydress.com/index.html
Ugly Necklaces
http://www.landofodds.com/store/uglynecklace.htm
Nasty Old Neckties
http://www.geocities.com/RodeoDrive/4026/index.html
Having figured out that scarecrows are really just straw, the jaded ravens are pulling the stuffed dummies apart with their nasty little beaks. But you can bring them back to life by zinging magic seeds to them from nearby trees. Make sense? Well, it will if you check out the artful and surprisingly difficult game from The Skeleton Shop, “A Murder of Scarecrows.” In something akin to “Tim Burton meets Missile Command,” this game will keep you entertained for hours. Be sure to read the opening poem and remember to ring the churchbell to resurrect the dead!
I don’t read science fiction novels as often as I used to, but some book premises are so wacky that you just gotta see whether the author can pull them off. Such is the case with Eve by Aurelio O’Brien, a bizarre story about an outdated robot and his owner, lost amid a Huxlean culture in the distant future. In the 31st century, death is an anachronism, and bio-engineered “creature comforts” dominate the world, functioning solely to keep humans (a.k.a. “Randoms” since they weren’t technologically programmed or engineered) in an eternal state of bliss. Machines are an anachronism — mankind has engineered biomass servants that exist solely to please itself. Things are so perfect that the meaningfulness of life itself has gone sour. Penster (a relic robot) and Govil (his ancient owner) have become so alienated by their amazingly lifeless world of living matter that, as an act of resistance, they team up to create something “random” again from recycled biomass — setting out to construct a deliberately average woman, whom they term Eve. And once a new “random” is created, it threatens the system, because unlike the rest of humanity, she hasn’t been sterilized to control overpopulation.
I hope my plot description hasn’t lost you. The story is clever, but complicated, and it takes a lot of exposition — albeit humorous — for O’Brien to build to his world of living commodity fetishes. At the center is GenieCorp — a 31st century corporation that has taken control of the world — which manufactures strange devices out of biomass, servicing all human desires with freakish living creatures. For example, “Snakelights” are literally snakes with lights in their bodies rather than the Black & Decker tools we know so well, and “VolksvaagenBugs” are insectoid carriers with seats embedded in the thorax. There are plenty of these puns on commercial culture throughout the book — indeed, encountering ServAnts and AlarmCocks and other animated commodities is half the fun of the book. They make Eve at once unique, witty, and a lot of fun to read. It’s almost cartoony in its outrageous humor — something like Futurama or The Jetsons as told by a mutation between David Cronenberg and Aldous Huxley. His writing is not composed as artfully as a Mark Leyner or a Philip K. Dick, but O’Brien’s postmodern science fiction is deftly imagined and he manages to generate one hell of an entertaining satire on consumer culture with Eve.
The book has some weaknesses: Eve gets off to a slow start because O’Brien’s 31st century world is so intricately designed. The use of an emotionless robot narrator generates some droll humor at times (“Upon returning home, Eve made a beeline for the bathroom and sealed herself in. She sat in there for 00:56:02 and cried.”) At times, the punning goes over-the-top so much that it wears thin. But the silliness of the world makes it all the more fascinating to a reader like me, who loves mutants. However, the book’s major weakness is a reliance on the shopworn “Adam & Eve” conceit (that the title makes explicit), considered by many to be one of the biggest cliches of the science fiction genre. Couple that with the Pygmalion plot and you might start to think that the narrative could use a little more cleverness to match the book’s imaginative universe. But O’Brien — whose background, incidentally, is in animation — is careful not to give plot itself much dramatic weight. He’s really just borrowing the structure to play out his imagination and generate a never-ending series of witty barbs at modern culture. And the creativity that’s evident everywhere in O’Brien’s hilarious satire of consumer culture makes it a terrific read.
Visit evethenovel.com for a battery of animated illustrations of the best of his Creature Comforts and a far better description of the plot than I can muster. (Be sure to click on the “Lick-n-Span” image — it’s what won me over when I first encountered the website). If you’re looking for a good laugh, and you enjoy light SF, I think you’ll really like this book. It’s a wonderful critique of the suburbanite’s American dream, shot through the lens of its most hedonistic desires. Available in paperback, hardcover, and e-book editions from the author’s website, AuthorHouse.com, or amazon.com.
http://evethenovel.com
http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/ItemDetail.aspx?q3=jYmNivsu1mM=
There’s no such thing as bad breath. If there was, we’d say that some folks had “good breath,” too, or maybe we’d have some sort of rating system in between, from superior or exquisite breath to satisfactory or competent breath. Nevertheless, we seem to have no lack of synonyms for the “bad” in bad breath — words like “atrocious,” “repellant,” “skunky,” and “hellaciously fetid” come to mind. But when it comes to breath, we ought to recognize that “bad” is really just a cultural value judgement. I’m certain that, in some colorful country somewhere, the odor of a goat’s ass emanating from one’s mouth is a sign of fine distinction.
Think about it. It’s not the breathing that’s bad. If it was, they’d make lung mints and everyone would smell of vapo-rub when they spoke. No, “bad breath” is a clever euphemism we use when we really want to say: “I believe my nose has detected evidence that something has died inside your upper gastrointestinal tract.” Whether it’s gum disease or something rotten that you recently ate — or a symptom of some larger systemic failure altogether, like gangrene of the throat — much of the unpleasantness of one’s mouth odor stems from its ghostly association with death and disease. From unhealthy dental habits to simply the rotting tissues of old age, bad breath is bad because our culture likes to celebrate health — fresh, minty life — not death.
And death stinks. Do you really expect your last breath to be minty-fresh?
Of course, some malodorous breath stems from eating foods that are unfamiliar to the nose. You can blow pepperoni and beer in my face all you like, and I’ll forgive you, but if I detect anchovies and J
For your next movie night, rent:
Chopping Mall (1986)
Dawn of the Dead (1978; remade 2004)
Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge (1989)