“…a fast-paced, brutal, gritty, and unflinching novel.” – Cemetery Dance

“Play Dead is a fun story full of power, life and death, intricacies of relationships, mysticism and survival. Arnzen weaves a gripping tale with just the right blend of intrigue, horror, and morality. Very entertaining.” – Horror-Web

“Arnzen deftly deals.” – Flesh & Blood

“Las Vegas is as diseased a city as there is, and Mike Arnzen knows this as well as anyone. In Play Dead, he distills its essence down to a uniquely brutal game and brings together as fascinatingly repellent a bunch of losers ever to make a grab for the corroded brass ring. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? Jesus, let

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Freakcidents!

by Michael Arnzen ~ May 7th, 2005

This weekend I’m autographing the signed/limited edition of my next poetry collection, FREAKCIDENTS, so I thought I’d post a photo to let those folks who preordered long ago know that, yes, the book is finally here!

Freakcidents (think “Freak+Accidents”) is a collection of very twisted poetry featuring freaks, mutants, morons and sideshow splattractions. Come one, come all — see the amazing “Needle Baby” or the frightening “Spiderboy”; feast your eyes on the incredible “Human Scab” or the man who can swallow himself whole! The book is richly illustrated by the artist, GAK, and I think it’s my favorite of all the poetry books I’ve done.

Shocklines Press literally saved this book, after it was originally contracted by another publisher who waited a year before dropping out of sight from the world. And the result is fantastic — the book looks really sharp, thanks in no small part to designer David G. Barnett. I’m very happy to have worked with these fine artists and publishers on this special 200 copy run of trade editions and 26 lettered copies in hardcover (which also arrived and look sweet!).

Orders are being taken at shocklines.com. The trade edition is $9.95; the very limited hardcover is $50. Shipping is FREE!

“Michael A. Arnzen, award winning poet and fiction writer, can always be counted on to approach the grotesque and the visceral with wit and, often, compassion

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Worthy Causes

by Michael Arnzen ~ May 7th, 2005

Saving Graves

Traffic Cone Preservation Society

Ripper Preservation

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Tags: ebooks

The Zoomquilt

by Michael Arnzen ~ May 5th, 2005

You may have already seen this one, but if not, you’re in for a treat. This collaborative art project is mesmerizing as you fly through a surreal tunnel of cascading bizarre art. For some reason I was reminded of The Phantom Tollbooth as I scrolled through its infinite recesses, but I can’t explain why. (The “flash” version is best…check it out!).

The Zoomquilt

[Thanks to Judi Rohrig for mentioning this one.]

Filed under: Online Gizmo of the Month | 1 Comment »

Inhuman Magazine (#2)

by Michael Arnzen ~ May 4th, 2005

Allen Koszowski’s new magazine, Inhuman, is all about one thing: the art of monstrosity. It’s theme is the “inhuman” — the monstrous — and every story in the digest is a good old-fashioned monster story to the core. I say “good old-fashioned” because there’s a nostalgic undercurrent to the magazine’s approach that really sent me right back to the days when I would watch Creature Features on Saturday afternoon television. But that doesn’t mean that the writing isn’t fresh, original, or modern — indeed, Inhuman entertains while it also manages to call into question what it means to be human, from a variety of angles. It purposely avoids the trappings of the psycho killer story or the extremes of splat-for-splat’s sake. In fact, its strong editorial focus on monsters is what amazes me about the magazine: it’s admirably fresh while also remaining true to the entertainment value of a good monster story, and it’s clear-cut focus gives the magazine a refreshingly assured identity, compared to a lot of other magazines that seem to make it all up as they go along. I know that any issue of Inhuman that I open up will fulfill its promise to return me to the thrill and wonderment of horror, by virtue of the monsters at its core.

Tightening its thematic bond is the supremely talented artwork, ALL of which is not only monster-centric, but also aesthetically centered on the traditional pen-and-ink craftsmanship of the illustrious editor, Allen K. himself. You don’t have to read a lot of horror magazines to recognize his style: prolifically appearing all over the scene since 1973, Allen Koszowski has been virtually everywhere in the genre press, from Cemetery Dance to Isaac Asimov’s SF Magazine to Weird Tales. I see his signature style in any number of collectable horror books I’ve got on my shelves, and even in many of the underground magazines I myself appeared in long ago. You can recognize his craftsmanship the instant you see the ominous stippling, the brash lines, the cinematic realism bent into surreal extremities. No one conjures creatures from a bottle of india ink like Allen K. and rare is the artist who can pull off a magazine like this, featuring entirely his own artwork alone. But Allen K. makes it not only look easy, but natural. Inhuman reads like an illuminated art portfolio without the trappings of an artist’s narcissism; paging through it to see what he’s exploring through his art nowadays is half the joy of reading the magazine. And the synergy between the stories and his illustrations is nothing short of brilliant. For you see, he’s not only a master of horrifying pen-and-ink drawings of monsters…backed by years of experience, he’s a master of capturing a story’s mood and essence by illustrating a key object, character, or scene from the story world. He brings to life a lot of the monsters that are lurking inside the stories themselves.

And the stories Allen K. is publishing are all wonderful. You can tell how well-read this artist and his assistant editors are in the genre; the authors they choose are excellent examples of the best working in horror today (and in year’s past). I already mentioned the magazine’s nostalgic longing for classic monster stories, and Inhuman actually reprints vintage tales in the genre — often contemporary classics that deserve another look. In issue #2, Joe R. Lansdale’s “Tight Little Stitches in a Dead Man’s Back” is presented alongside a simply awesome art piece by Allen K. that brings Lansdale’s post-nuclear “flowers” to life in an uncanny way. The story definitely stands the test of time and like many of Lansdale’s pieces it is a must-read. Also reprinted in this issue are wonderful stories by Ramsey Campbell, Thomas F. Monteleone, and Brain Lumley — a few of which I’d missed and was very happy to have had the chance to read. The illustration for Lumley’s “The Spider in the Bathtub” is so striking that I would love to have a blown-up giant poster made out of it and put up on my bathroom wall. The original monster fiction in the magazine is also superb, and I was particularly struck by Elizabeth Massie’s masterfully bizarre doppelganger story, “Donald Meets Arnold,” which does an expert job of making the protagonist’s hilarious eccentricity completely unlikable so we’ll root for the justice to come when his uncanny and monstrous “alterego” comes to life. Allen K’s accompanying art for this story is surrealistically gruesome — and pulls you right into the story so you’ll want to understand it. Also appearing in this issue with new tales involving everything from alien aberrations to tentacled terrors are Shikhar Dixit, Michael Laimo, Tim Curran, Don D’Ammassa and C.J. Henderson. All of them are entertaining and, well, scary! The magazine is rounded out nicely with film reviews, poetry, and essays on the genre.

Finally, it’s worth noting that Inhuman attempts to do what is virtually impossible in today’s horror genre: keep the content friendly for young readers, without lowering the psychological and literary depth of the stories. While the violence factor is high, sexuality is kept to a minimum and offensive language is virtually absent. This is a conscious choice, as Allen K makes clear in his introduction to issue #2, since the Lansdale story made him contemplate the matter of what’s worth censoring and what’s not. I applaud Allen K’s integrity on this issue; monster stories are naturally appealing to the youth, and it just makes good sense to appease parents in order to show the next generation just how good horror can be. I know that a lot of my early love of the genre came from reading magazines that teetered somewhere between a PG and R rating when I was young. I only wish there had been a magazine like Inhuman around. Thankfully, there is now. And it’s no kiddie mag. Inhuman is highly recommended to anyone, young and old, who enjoys monsters, dark art, and the best fiction in the genre.

Allen K’s Inhuman is a digest-sized, perfect bound magazine, with full color cover and b/w interiors. Nothing short of a bargain at $6.95 a copy. Pick up a copy through shocklines.com or browse around on the publisher’s website at Die Monster Die Publishing.

http://www.allenk.com
http://www.diemonsterdie.com/DMD_books_inhuman.htm
http://store.yahoo.com/shocklines/diemonsterdie.html

Filed under: Not Dead Yet: Print Reviews | No Comments »

Excerpts from a Psycho Bird Watcher’s Notebook

by Michael Arnzen ~ May 4th, 2005

+ Bird seed will not grow into birds no matter how much you water it.

+ If the early bird gets the worm, then that means the lazy worms who just sleep in every day are the ones left running the show.

+ I hear that God watches over us through the eyes of little birds. I suspect God also pecks our eyes out through the beaks of little birds, too.

+ Why do birds settle for the whimsical birdhouse, when the big kahuna is often right next door? Are they “bird-brained” or just modest?

+ Birds will fly directly into large windows and brain themselves if you don’t use curtains. I like to trick them by taking out the pane of glass entirely and letting them in. Then I might swoop down from above with my frying pan, or throw the cat in the air from below and see what happens.

+ Man wishes he had wings so he could fly. Bird wishes he had hands so he could drive, instead.

+ If the woodpeckers organized, we’d really be screwed.

+ Why do people panic when a bird gets free inside the house and flutters about? The house IS the cage!

+ Birds twitter and tweet at each other in some stupid sort of Morse code that has only three or four letters. This explains their curious look when they gather on phone lines.

+ If birds ate enough seed, in theory they could kill off the very plant kingdom that produces the seed in the first place. Are they aware of this?

+ Ostriches and other tall-standing birds that walk on two feet creep me out because they look too much like muppets made flesh.

+ Birds pivot and snap their heads to and fro instead of rolling their eyes. Beyond their little leathery talons and sharp little beaks, this is what truly makes them monstrous.

+ I can understand why birds fly south for winter, but I really don’t get why they come back. And you’d think hunting season would give them a clue.

+ The world is the bird’s toilet. They’re kind of like children that way.

+ Some birds, predators like the hawk, eat other birds. They’re cannibals, I suppose, but they’re also just like us.

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The “Mash Your Own Monsters” Contest Winners

by Michael Arnzen ~ May 4th, 2005

Last issue I sponsored the “Mash Your Own Monster” contest, which asked subscribers to put any two horror film icons together in an original “monster mash”, with a brief synopsis of the movie’s mayhem. Points went out for originality in the pairing, a Gorelets-flavored sense of humor, and a general appeal to my sense of “I’d love to see them pull off THAT!”

The winners are:

Cody Goodfellow, 1st Place, for THINGAMABLOB: THE THING vs. THE BLOB (“Man is the Warmest Place to Hide Jelly Filling”)

Stephen M. Wilson, 2nd Place, for THE BROOD vs. THE OOMPA LOOMPAS
(“Can chocolate soothe the savage mom?”)

Nick Cato, 3rd place, for JASON vs. THE KILLER TOMATOES (a.k.a. FRIDAY THE 13th part 16)

Congratulations! All three win BitPass prizes. Thanks to everyone who entered. I’ll be publishing the hilariously inventive plot synopses of these “monster mashes” and ALL the entries in the e-mail edition of Goreletter, soon to be released. It’s free to subscribe if you’re curious or want to be elibgible for future contests and discount rewards.

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Nicolas UnCaged

by Michael Arnzen ~ May 4th, 2005

For your next movie night, rent:

Vampire’s Kiss (1989)
Wild at Heart (1990)
Kiss of Death (1995)

Filed under: Our Odd Triple Feature | No Comments »
Tags: vampires

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