I’m still stunned, so I’ll keep this relatively short…

The HWA’s Bram Stoker Awards were announced last night in Salt Lake City at the 2008 World Horror Convention. My book, PROVERBS FOR MONSTERS, tied for the win (along with Peter Straub for his wonderful book, 5 Stories) in the “Superior Achievement in a Fiction Collection” category.

This is my fourth Stoker award for my horror writing and since this particular award is going to a book that collects stories from across my career, I’m obviously overjoyed.

I’ve posted a copy of my acceptance speech (read by Weston Ochse at the banquet) on gorelets.com, but here I just want to share the good news and to shout out a huge THANKS to the HWA and to anyone who has picked up my book and enjoyed it.

Here’s the full list of winners…and all of these books are just GREAT, so if you like horror fiction, this is the stuff you should be reading, folks!:

Bram Stoker Award Winners 2008

Superior Achievement in a Novel
THE MISSING by Sarah Langan (Harper)

Superior Achievement in a First Novel
HEART-SHAPED BOX by Joe Hill (William Morrow)

Superior Achievement in Long Fiction
AFTERWARD, THERE WILL BE A HALLWAY by Gary Braunbeck (Five Strokes to Midnight)

Superior Achievement in Short Fiction
THE GENTLE BRUSH OF WINGS by David Niall Wilson (Defining Moments)

Superior Achievement in an Anthology
FIVE STROKES TO MIDNIGHT edited by Gary Braunbeck and Hank Schwaeble (Haunted Pelican Press)

Superior Achievement in a Fiction Collection (tie)
PROVERBS FOR MONSTERS by Michael A. Arnzen (Dark Regions Press)
5 STORIES by Peter Straub (Borderlands)

Superior Achievement in Nonfiction
THE CRYPTOPEDIA by Jonathan Maberry & David F. Kramer (Citadel Press / Kensington)

Superior Achievement in Poetry (tie)
BEING FULL OF LIGHT, INSUBSTANTIAL by Linda Addison (Space and Time)
VECTORS: A WEEK IN THE DEATH OF A PLANET by Charlee Jacob & Marge Simon (Dark Regions Press)

HWA Lifetime Achievement Award: John Carpenter & Robert Weinberg

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For more information about the Bram Stoker award, visit the Horror Writers Association.

For more information about Proverbs for Monsters, see my website, Gorelets.com or pick up a copy at the Horror Mall.

Back to celebrating… Cheers! — Mike Arnzen

“Squalid” refers to something filthy and repulsively foul — like the living conditions of a cat collector with an affinity for gourmet cheese — but to me it sounds even worse. When I hear the word “squalid” the very sound of the letters makes me think of a “squid” with a “wall” in the middle of it — the wall of a nasal cavity. It also sounds sort of square, sort of solid, but not quite either of those — more lumpy and slumping like some lesser Lovecraftian monstrosity. Yeah, Squalid is the younger brother of Nyarlathotep, but he isn’t quite so scary — he just sits on the couch all day, playing X-Box, festering in a pile of cookie crumbs and black ooze, sickly digging into an economy sized bag of Ctheetos every minute or two with a soiled tentacle, wiping the combined orange residue and ichor of his suction cups all over the arms of the sofa. As you can imagine, Squalid — like most young tentacled creatures — kind of smells bad, too.

His older brother, “squalor” is much smarter, an honor’s student at Miskatonic U, majoring in Home Ick, and he’s even currently on the Dean’s List.

Wormit the Legless Frog
Everybody’s lovable green buddy crawls back from the grave on his two lanky arms, his backside grotesquely tapered much like the tadpole he once was. He haunts the parking lots of French restaurants…and in his nasal-congested voice cries out for “leggggsss!” He leaves a snotty trail behind him. He is frequently run over by cars.

Googee Monster
He chaotically throws fistfuls of cookies into his mouth, munching wildly, growling “Gooooogeeee.” Sometimes you can see his razor-sharp teeth cutting into his own bloody gums. And sometimes you see human fingers jumbling in the mouth fuzz, and they’re not the puppeteer’s.

Clownt von Clownt
Combining the worst elements of a vampire and a clown, Clownt von Clownt’s lofty domed forehead broods above the eyes and mouth painted not with grease but with the blood of the innocent. But he is tortured with immortal irony. He loads the chambers of his revolver with five blanks and one live round, playing Russian Roulette in front of the camera. “Uh-one,” click. “Uh-two,” click! “Uh-three…,” BAM! And the pointy teeth go flying.

Big Dead Bird
His yellow feathers are fading and falling out. Patches of death-pale gooseflesh are visible everywhere. But worse: large earthworms writhe in his Big Rib Cage. His enormous eyes are always closed. He smells. Badly. The children avoid him.

Shuffleupeatus
This shy wooly mammoth is oh so cute…and everyone thinks he’s just Big Dead Bird’s imaginary friend, until he shuffles up within trunk-grabbing distance of you. His trunk is always larger than the children calculate. He teaches them how to count with each determined mash of their bones between his perfect, poisonous tusks. They never really get past three.

Burnie and Dirt
Burnie died in the apartment building fire, but now he’s back from the grave along with his old pal Dirt, his old roommate, who he now carries around in a funerary urn. Dirt perpetually reminds Burnie that the fire was all his fault and that he warned him and he should have listened…when he’s not otherwise whining about having to share his urn with Rubber Duckie. Together they roam the streets, forever homeless, seeking a bathtub.

Scar the Grump
There’s nothing but scabrous tissue where you thought you’d see lips. He’s still a grouch, but at least his nonstop complaining is less annoying, all mumbles and muffled screams behind that stretchy scab where his mouth should have been. His trashcan abode bears the placard for biomedical waste.

Smellmo
No one wants to tickle this stinky scab-colored creature (especially not in those nasty underarms), but that doesn’t stop this monstrosity from sitting in the alleyway, tickling himself in the dark shadows, chortling with perverse glee.

O-ver
This skinny blue corpse dons his grim reaper cowl and scythe. He has come back to the Street, with a lesson to teach the little ones….

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Related Viewing:
Tickle Me Emo