UPDATE: CONTEST DEADLINE HAS PASSED… COMMENTS ON THIS ENTRY ARE NOW CLOSED!
Time for a new contest!
Come up with a witty caption for the image below and you will be eligible to win one of the following “book & comic series” prizes (…there will be two winners chosen!) :
- An almost-impossible-to-find signed “Advanced Review Copy” of The B*tchfight by Arnzen
+ the first four issues of Jai Nitz’ horror comic series, Heaven’s Devils (Image). - A signed copy of Arnzen’s (now out-of-print and still out-of-its-mind) novella, Licker
+ the first four issues of Army of Darkness vs. Reanimator (Dynamite Comics).
NEW BONUS ADDITION: A THIRD PRIZE!
Matt Schuster will be picking his personal favorite caption for his art, and the winner will receive the original sketch for it! If you haven’t entered yet, the odds just got a lot better, so act now!
HERE ARE THE RULES:
- DEADLINE: JULY 6th, NOON, est. Any captions/comments received after that date will not be eligible to win.
- Anyone can post a caption to enter by leaving a “comment” below.
- One entry per person — so make it count.
- I know it’s hard to abide by this one, but no obscenity. That’ll be my judgment call, but try to keep it PG-13. I won’t approve comments with “curse” words or overt description of sexuality, because kids do visit this site.
- A valid e-mail address MUST be provided on the comment form along with your entry so that you can be contacted if you win a prize. Your privacy will be respected.
- ALL entrants who post entries will be added to the Goreletter e-mail list, if they are not already subscribers. To win you have to be a subscriber when decisions are made. You may unsubscribe after the contest if you want to (but you won’t want to); regardless, your personal info is safe.
- Captions do NOT have to be funny to win, but must pertain to the image given. The winners will be chosen based on Arnzen’s entirely subjective judgment about good captioning.
Thanks to MATT SCHUSTER — the artist from Proverbs for Monsters — for graciously providing this original sketch for this contest. Drop by his website to see more of his fantastic imaginings!
Here it is…caption away!
UPDATE: CONTEST DEADLINE HAS PASSED… COMMENTS ON THIS ENTRY ARE NOW CLOSED! WINNERS POSTED HERE!
From 
The cover art preview to Dr. Seuss’s new book, Green Arms and Man
“One arm short, one arm long
One man sad, color all wrong”
I ain’t go no body…wait there it is.
My mother had strange cravings. . .
Damn, I thought that can said spinach, not green beans.
“I wish it was this easy to scratch my rear end…having two elbows isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
Yoga tantric self-origami position number four – the elbow echo.
The alien sighed and said, “We must remember to decontaminate the probe next time!”
he watched in horror as the evil appendage seemed to take on a life of its own… growing in size while the other became a shrunken, withered version of its former self.
Stop complaining! You’ve got two elbows! Who care’s if they’re on the same arm!
“At least I’ve got the high five and the low five covered…”
you put your right arm in and you shake it all about, you do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself about…
I could’ve gotten the usual arm band tattoo, like any other kid, but…
Lithuanian tattoo/black market surgery/sandwich shops are not to be trusted.
Honestly, you should have seen the sandwich.
Measure twice, cut once…
Sadly, Lo-Pan was kicked out of the Shaolin Temple with only a partial understanding of the ‘Mantis’ fighting style.
I pledge allegiance to the flag…
“Are you leaving me because I’m balding, Susan?”
“Okay, I’m giving the matter transmitter ONCE LAST TRY, and then Costco’s getting the damn thing back!”
“In today’s science news…the Howard Hughes Medical Institute announced an exciting new branch of science called genecelclonology, a fusion of genetic studies, stem cell research, and cloning. Scientists at the institute are calling on President Bush to increase funding for this groundbreaking new field of study.
Geez and the wife thought menopause was a bitch.
Sadly, Mark was asked not to participate in the Hands Across America event. President Reagan wept.
Oh, okay. I think it was just a little heartburn. I’m sure I’m fine now.
Damn! How did the “swamp thing” do that?
He didn’t have much of a left hook, but he had the longest right jab in boxing history.
The heartbreaking dark side of having a green thumb.
“Christ, Tom! All I said was ‘Pull my finger.’”
“One whithered arm and two elbows on the other – this is blogging material for a month!”
There are some itches that no matter what, you just can’t seem to scratch them.
“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your… arms?”
My hideous third nipple… I’m so ashamed.
Jerry loved his malformed, green limbs. They drew attention away from his womanly hips and miniscule penis.
[...] horror writer Mike Arnzen is having a caption contest over at his blog. The best captions for my illustration above can net you autographed horror novels, comics, and [...]
“Coming to a theater near you, it’s FETUS ARM!”
“I thought mom said I’d just need glasses?”
You want me to hide it behind my back…
The Not-So-Fantastic Fifth.
Rock, paper, scissors, oops!
“I wonder if it tastes like chicken?”
[...] http://www.gorelets.com/blog/weblog-exclusive/enter-a-caption-and-win/ [...]
I should be able to reach that top shelf now.