Robert Harper has a bizarre affliction on his tongue — it leaks hallucinogenic fluid! When Harper subsequently gets abducted by an underground carnival sideshow filled with “Grosstitutes” — freaks who interact with their customers in hilariously strange ways for money — he is plunged into a world of horror beyond his worst nightmares…a world of demented hallucinations, twisted medical experiments, and beings that exist only in the darkest of dark corners.
“Beyond over the top…Licker violates every possible notion of good taste, gleefully, and the result is an optimistic graveyard fandango.” –Peter Straub, author of In The Night Room
“Licker is a truly intoxicating, hallucinogenic whirlwind of brainbreaking freakshow fun. Arnzen’s sure-footed, fast-paced storytelling, and his willingness to fly far beyond the bounds of good taste, make Licker the one bizarre carnival ride that you must buy a ticket for.” –Jeremy Robert Johnson, Author of Extinction Journals
“Mike Arnzen is the chicest, craftiest horror writer in the Biz, and Licker is among the best in his library. Devilish, bizarre and irreverent, this book has everything: an insatiable plot, fingerlicking prose, and characters who will eat your heart out with a wooden spoon! Arnzen has imagination pouring out of every orifice.” –D. Harlan Wilson, author of Dr. Identity
“Licker explores themes of acceptance and rejection, revealing a marginalized segment of society so extreme you’ll choke on your own tongue.” –John Edward Lawson, author of The Troublesome Amputee
“Mike Arnzen’s Licker is a good old-fashioned, toad-licking, carnival freak-out that reads like an acid-flashback Tilt-a-Whirl. Dramamine and Maalox are highly recommended. Cotton candy just ain’t going to taste the same, and those candy buttons have all come undone. Read this book and I guarantee you will never look at a carnie the same way you used to.” –Steve Vernon
“Deaf mute cheerleaders, mutant tongues, cotton candy and sideshows! In Licker, Michael A. Arnzen takes us on a lip-smacking rollercoaster ride with no brakes into the very ‘underside’ of the carnival world and leaves us gagging for more. A grotesque classic!” –L.L. Soares
“Licker is an over-the-top, gross-out laugh riot. Arnzen clearly had a lot of fun in trying to outdo himself, from the very first paragraph all the way to the last. It’s not his ordinary style or subject matter, but Arnzen has more than enough skill to pull it off. Licker is not to be taken seriously, and that’s the point. The result is a like a World Horror Convention gross-out contest on steroids. The novelette length is perfect for this kind of work, because it’s long enough to allow the reader to get into the story, without allowing the joke to get stale….Licker is the perfect dose.” –Nate Kenyon, Horror World
Introduction by Jeff Strand
LICKER: the novelette
Afterword by Nick Cato
“Domestic Fowl”: flash fiction bonus feature
Title: Licker by Michael Arnzen
Publisher: Novello Publishers, 2006
Trade Paperback, Limited to 150 numbered editions, 112 pp.
Out of Print