June 2009

Have you ever seen a “Living Liquid” creature in fiction and film? If so, please help build a list here: http://tr.im/qoeC

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“Pithy Morbid Thoughts” contest ends 7.1 at Midnight! 5 winners will be chosen for free Arnzen books — easy! Go: http://tr.im/n3iL

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Finally found Greg Rucka @ruckawriter and raising my cup of joe to him. And by cup of joe I mean coffee, not a ground-up guy named Joseph.

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RT @MecumHaiku Zombie Haiku / I can see his tongue / move through the hole on his face / that isn’t his mouth.

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All the Michael Jackson hubub reminds me of a great horror story by Jeffrey Thomas: “Psychometric Idol” from http://tr.im/qaE9

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RT @MrTeller “Just woke from a fitful dream about writing a long, sweeping novel with a hundred and forty different characters in it.” LOL!

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RT @jeffvandermeer New blog post: The New Weird Anthology - Notes and Introduction http://bit.ly/z1NZE Great book!

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Let the horror begin!

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@wdprescott So good seeing you at the rez. Loving the book TAINTED — glad I picked it up! Send me what you wanted at your leisure.

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@Marawitch Thanks for spreading the word! Now tell your zombie avatar to stop staring at my head cheese sandwich.

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@richristow Neruda is awesome. Join the fray!

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@RenegadeScribe Good seeing you at rez. Best wishes with your writing project. I’ve got a deadline myself that needs to be worked on NOW!

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@chuntastic @digitalred93 You were missed.

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Only 3 days left in the “Pithy Morbid Thoughts” contest. 5 winners will be chosen for free Arnzen books — easy! Go: http://tr.im/n3iL

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We’re wrapping up our residency in Writing Popular Fiction today at Seton Hill http://fiction.setonhill… What a blast of a week!

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Only 1 week left in the “Pithy Morbid Thoughts” contest. 5 winners will be chosen for free Arnzen books — easy! Go: http://tr.im/n3iL

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Borderline Magazine (France) releases “bizarro” issue #13: http://tr.im/podF

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RT @LunchLive Schtinky on 100 Jolts: Shockingly Short Stories by Michael A. Arnzen http://lunch.com/t/fhq

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@westonochse It’ll be a short, sharp shock, I promise. [ Surprised to see that even that phrase has a wikipedia entry! http://tr.im/pgdB ]

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Nice video work @brianjhatcher ! RT Brian, With An “Eye”’: Writers Workshop of Horror, Hypericon, and Stoker Awards http://ping.fm/0kmCk

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@westonochse Obstacle down. What I owe you is next. Teaching starts Tues; will try to beat that. Belated happy b-day!

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Don’t overlook this book: Visions by Lawrence C. Connolly: http://bit.ly/ixUAJ

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RT @smalljones BARREL MONSTER LIVES! http://twurl.nl/f348x6
If the State was smart it would buy the rights & use at all construction sites!

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@wdprescott Good post. I say we are ALL “the balloon animals of horror.”

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RT @Marawitch “Now…onto Dead Clowns!” Greatest segue in the world.

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@MikeBrendan @BrianKeene Besides, MikeB, I always shake my hips when I’m writing. I didn’t say they were my OWN hips, just mine.

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@MikeBrendan @BrianKeene The thought of you throwing up in your mouth a little made me throw up in my mouth a lot. So there.

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(A personal favorite)

“While Brushing”: in the morning mirror / an insect worms out from the bush / of your right eyebrow / you grin and leave it / work to do

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Enjoyed the interview with Harold Ramis (and the Borat/Bruno piece!) in GQ recently while sitting in a barbershop: http://tr.im/p34h

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RT @BrianKeene Got me some coffee and some Rolling Stones ‘Exile on Main Street’ and some writing to do: “Do the hip shake thang…”

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RT @reversecowpie asks “I wonder if anyone has ever died during yoga class?” I believe the position is “Downward Facing Death”.

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@captplothole QUICK CHANGE is a great, underappreciated film! Thanks for reminding me of it.

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Nothing worse than a SAD zombie clown. Especially the kind in a velvet paint-by-numbers portrait.

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@Outlawpoet1970 asks “Don’t zombies laugh?” Great question! And I think the answer is yes. Otherwise there’d be no zombie clowns.

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Thank you @Outlawpoet1970 … though I really want to hear what a dead chuckle sounds like, too! (wahn-wahn-wahhhh…)

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@Zoe_E_W You’re totally right! That ‘doppleganger’ method was employed by Ray Kroc, I believe, in the formation of McDonald’s franchises!

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Brilliant observation @BlackDogNate (Or do I say, @MikeArnzen !???? dun-dunnnn…)

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What’s worse: your doppelganger, or an army of your clones? I say doppelganger. (No, >I< say doppelganger!) [We all say you’re both wrong!]

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It’s funny how new story premises sneak up on you. I love it when they hit me in the back of the head with a spike-riddled sledgehammer!

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You gotta see the creepy/funny wax figure routine from Conan last night…and also the VentriloChoir! http://tr.im/oO9a

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Don’t forget the “Pithy Morbid Thought” contest at gorelets.com. Deadline in 2 weeks! Five free books up for grabs: http://tr.im/n3iL

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RT @Blood_Spattered Oprah selects Zombie Pride and Prejudice for reading list. http://tinyurl.com/lvr5ou I smell an oversaturated trope.

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RT @RenegadeScribe @DRUDGE_REPORT: PSYCHO: Man Poses as Dead Mom to Collect Benefits… http://tinyurl.com/l6on2u Life imitates art, no?

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twitter asks ‘What are you doing?’ but I read it as “Hey! What are you doing? Drop that gun! Oh please don’t hurt me! NO!…” <blam>

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I think that’s totally legit, @leatherzebra Every time I buy a piece of printed cardboard, I’m entered in the lottery, after all. :-)

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@jenniferbrozek Thanks, Jennifer! She wields a mean machete. It was sort of like a German language Kill Bill in my yard for a while there.

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@CarltonMellick3 “Kevin Donihe’s “Washer Mouth”: http://bit.ly/t6WC8 ” Fear The Dark Washer!!! The description for this book is hilarious!

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My wife just killed a snake with a machete before it had the chance to eat a nest of wrens. Sublime moment.

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New book: The Writer’s Workshop of Horror! Advice on writing darkly from 30 masters. Ships Aug: http://tr.im/oEXO

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@carrie_rapp I can’t say! I better get back to it folks. You’ve all helped, in a very special way.

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I am laughing very loudly.

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@LaMaupin The entity known as Michael Arnzen wouldn’t dream of it!

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@Richard_Kadrey Яolcats - English Translations of Eastern Bloc Lolcats http://bit.ly/ZKlHL (Like BORAT for LOLCATS!)

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@MonicaJORourke :-) I’ll keep at it…Ugh, titles can be so hard. If I ever had a child, it would grow up and die before it got named.

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LOL @ChadSavage ! There is that. Hmm. Maybe sth along those lines, @MonicaJORourke — good tips.

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Can’t decide whether to call my current WIP story “God of the Rod” or “Rod of God” or “Rod God” or just “God Rod”… maybe nota?

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@wdprescott I diagnose you as clinically psychotic. You want to eat candy-flavored tumors? (Clearly they should be mint flavored TUMS)

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Great line: “Popular. Culture. No longer. Applies to me.” — @Art_Brut_

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RT @radtke327 Weird Al has a new song coming out tomorrow. Guess what it’s about? http://bit.ly/15dYFN LOVE IT

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MYSTERY AUTHOR with MFA or PhD WANTED - tenured teaching job in Pittsburgh-area writing program. http://tr.im/osxt

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lol @mightymur Here’s 3 ways to totally concur: Yes! I agree! Oh yeah!

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Musing: What does one say to a squid, now knowing they can hear? “I think you just inked a little in your eddy.”

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RT @CherylMorgan Squid talk. Yes they do. http://is.gd/12y43 Be afraid.

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Looking forward to your Stoker report @JeffStrand

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well, apparently the ‘track’ code doesn’t work for saving searches…

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track horror

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@raingodd Oh no…you just whispered “Thinner” to us all…we’re all starting lose weight. Arghghggh…oh no my pants finally fit! :-)

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pardon my testing to come of twitter code http://help.twitter.com/…

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EESH QUICHE! I love this icky pie poster for the horror film DYING BREED: http://pic.im/5lN Anyone seen this?

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EESH QUICHE! I love this icky pie poster for the horror film DYING BREED: http://pic.im/5lN Anyone seen this?

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RT @clarkesworld Talebones coming to an end as a magazine…will be antho http://bit.ly/JazXM

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RT @ColleenLindsay Quotes from Jaws in which the word “shark” is replaced by “Jimmy Page” http://www.mcsweeneys.ne…

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Today I took some time to check out Horrorgy — Horror-Mall.com’s “spotlight on horror” site. Pretty good spread! http://tr.im/ouUZ

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Death be not proud. Your black robe smells funny.

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RT @Overlook Connection horror bookstore: 20% OFF EVERYTHING! Two-Day Only Sale! Details Here! http://bit.ly/g1mwO

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Cool trailer for Lawrence Connolly’s upcoming story collection, VISIONS!: http://bit.ly/13Pyb6

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Got the latest copy of @CemeteryDance mag (#60)! Slow coming but worth it. Features @RayGarton @JeffStrand @timwaggoner http://tr.im/ossV

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MikeArnzenThanks @wdprescott for the kind words. Those who borrow copies of Licker or B*tchfight themselves shall never return.

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Just discovered @David_N_Wilson ‘s cool new Tweepleblog. Great idea. Keep em coming, Dave! http://www.tweepleblog.c…

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Goreletter mailing complete! Errata: The subject line’s subtitle was supposed to be “Black Saabath” :-) DM me if you didn’t get your issue.

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@ThePueschel Thanks for entering the Goreletter’s “pithy morbid thoughts” contest. http://tr.im/n3iL

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Goreletter 5.04 is sending at the rate of 423 msgs per hour. Should arrive everywhere by dawn. Discounts, poems, ichor. http://gorelets.com

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I’ll be sending the new issue of The Goreletter out tonight. Sign up at http://gorelets.com in the next few mins if you’re interested.

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How’d you do in the final tally @BrianKeene?

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Thanks @VampireFaust and @scottedelman for the live tweets from the Stoker Award banquet!

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RT @VampireFaust Stephen King wins the Bram Stoker Award for his novel, Duma Key. That’s two for SK tonight.

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RT @VampireFaust Lisa Mannetti just won a Bram Stoker Award for First Novel, The Gentling Box.

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Cool… Alice Cooper is on the radio. Apropos.

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I dunno @SandDanz

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Novel and first novel awards are left at the Stokers… I can only imagine how funny Padrone is right now on stage with FPW.

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The Triffids can’t hold back @fpaulwilson Congrats on your Lifetime Achievement Award, Paul!

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RT @VampireFaust the HWA lifetime acheivement award goes to…Chelsea Quinn Yarbro and F. Paul Wilson. Double-down @BrianKeene !

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Is it just me or are these Stoker speeches short?

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Congrats TO John Little for his second award at the Stokers tonight: for his novella, Miranda!

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Congrats to Larry Roberts and fam at Bloodletting Press for winning the Specialty Press Award at the HWA Stoker Banquet!

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Congrats to Sarah Langan for winning the Bram Stoker Award for short fiction (“The Lost”). She’s on a well-earned roll!

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a toast to you @LaMaupin

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*break time* … don’t scroll away ………………..

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Read ALL the finalists at the Stokers, folks. They’re all good!

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LOL @BrianKeene ! Gracias. @VampireFaust and @scottedelman who are reporting out of the Stokers…I can’t help but twtich and retweet them.

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Congrats to Stephen King for winning Just After Sunset for Fiction Collection.

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What song is that, @wdprescott?

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Congrats to Vince Liaguno and Chad Helder for their Bram Stoker win for editing the anthology, Unspeakable Horror.

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Jaw drop!

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Congrats to John Little for the Laymon Award at the HWA Stoker Banquet. Rockin’. (He’s a finalist in Long Fiction category too for Miranda)

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Congrats to Lisa Morton on winning a nf Stoker Award for “A Halloween Anthology”! Amazing win!

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How cool is Twitter? We know who is winning Stokers Awards before some of the winners not in attendance even do! Wild. Thanks, tweeters!

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Bruce Boston wins Stoker for The Nightmare Collection! Yay! Thanks for the news report @VampireFaust

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CONGRATS @Sephera on your HWA Silver Hammer Award. (“Bang bang, Maxwell!”)

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@scottedelman Master of Ceremonies @JeffStrand ponders the question: “What’s scarier? Fast zombies, slow zombies, or zombie fans?” LOL!

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Strike of Midnight.

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@BrianKeene I’m betting Kealan will win for collection this year. But it’s a tough category, and anyone’s game!

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RT @leatherzebra @bychwych: No live Stokers tonite. http://www.lisamorton.co… Good luck to the contenders!

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@SandDanz Not sure if I’ll be there at the Stoker Awards chat again— maybe! Last year’s was fun. I did a spit take when I won.

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Fresh review of Blankety Blank by @DHarlanWilson on The Popular Uncanny blog: http://www.gorelets.com/…

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Knock em dead, @JeffStrand RT The Bram Stoker Awards for horror fiction stream live on the web tonight 8:30 PM PST, at www.stokers2009.com

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RT @JSCarroll On the subject of self-ink: A man without tattoos is invisible to the Gods ~Iban Proverb http://bit.ly/14Z7vR Neat!

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The Icky Truth about Offal: upcoming Goreletter excerpt just posted to the blog: http://www.gorelets.com/… (Warning: gross)

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@AlBruno3 “I think need to fetishise a new monster soon.” I concur. How about The Green Slime from Outer Space? :-)

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RT @zombiesandtoys Pittsburgh Zombie Walk http://bit.ly/tq9gu

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gorelets.com site is now back up. whew. I’m excited to send out the next Goreletter…almost ready! Subscribe friends: http://tr.im/nhLl

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@wdprescott “Shall The Arnzen Army invade? I have the minions ready for invasion!” (???) Aye, Capt BoneCrunch! Take the Baskin Robbins!

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I think this is a clever “striptease” video (found @VampireFaust ‘s website) http://vimeo.com/5049103

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RT @JeffStrand “The Bram Stoker Awards, with me as emcee, will stream live on the web tonight around 8:30 PM PST, at www.stokers2009.com

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Ah, I’ve figured out the crash: they’re upgrading something behind the scenes. Wish they’d alert me.

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Hey, who crashed my server? Gah…

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RT @onlinefiction Death’s Blog - the name says it all, really - http://bit.ly/tNF67

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Caught the last three minutes of the Cup…locals are rioting with joy.

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I’m writing. Don’t need to watch the Cup: every time Pittsburgh scores, I hear a giant YAWP from the entire region. Go Pens!

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Advil Jones popped a pain killer and relieved herself to death.

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@scottedelman @fpaulwilson Perhaps the Triffids got him this time! Enjoy the stokers!

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RT ScottWesterfeld “I named a today: ‘sozzled pearl,’ a goat cheese soaked in bourbon.” Good band name, too, SW!

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Finishing up the new issue of THE GORELETTER. Going out soon! (Sun/Mon?) Don’t miss out. Subscribe free at: http://tr.im/nhLl

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Thanks @scottedelman for blogging the Bram Stoker Award weekend so far. Nice fotos! http://scottedelman.live…

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Local Alert: The ‘It’s Alive Show’: Resurrecting in Pittsburgh tomorrow night! http://www.theitsalivesh…

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@writerscanvas asks “If stressed, how do you calm your mind to write?” I re-read a classic or canonical short story in my genre.

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@scottedelman Is that link for your Stoker Weekend blog correct? Isn’t working for me.

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RT @PublishersWkly There’s a long line of digital reading devices out to challenge the Kindle and its getting longer. http://bit.ly/2Kjt9F

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@MikeBrendan Holy water.

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<fizzle fizzle>

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“The power of christ comPELS YOU!” <spritz spritz>

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@carrie_rapp I tend to spout lines from The Exorcist sporadically during the day for no reason. Perhaps I am possessed. I am legion.

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Cool book cover on your profile @sideshowtony ! CONGRATS!

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“Why Dami….Why you do this to me, Dami?”

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And…scene. http://gorelets.com is now back up and open for business. Drama over. New Goreletter soon! Subscribe: http://tr.im/nhLl

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Gorelets.com temporarily down — my webhost upgrading for move to new @WordPress 2.8

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Finishing up the new issue of THE GORELETTER. Going out soon! Don’t miss out. Subscribe free at: http://tr.im/nhLl

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RT @theauteurs the trailer for Scorsese’s new movie, SHUTTER ISLAND: http://www.apple.com/tra…

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Digitizing my vinyl. The Cure “Seventeen Seconds” & Psychedelic Furs “Forever Now”. The 80s irony is opening a temporal fissure in reality.

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Apologies to @lnmorton - mistaken mortons.

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RT @HorrorNewsNet Super cool game: Monster Evolution http://bit.ly/pKPyO Fun…this online gizmo is going in the next Goreletter.

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RT @fatallyyours Come take a “Midnight Walk” with new anthology: http://bit.ly/zPMih If Lisa Morton edits - it’s gonna be good! @lnmorton

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= recommend an overlooked recent small press book. My pick: BRINE by Adrienne Jones (Creative Guy Pub, 2008). http://tr.im/o2LM

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@bizarroguy is in the house. <Arnzen makes Raw Dog Screaming Press gang sign with decorticated fingerbones>

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Literally : RT @Gugazine Superheroes Caught in the Act http://ow.ly/diAJ

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Loving the cover, contents, and cause: RT @jeffvandermeer Last Drink Bird Head: An October Surprise http://bit.ly/JLIbT

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Just two weeks until our MA in Writing Popular Fiction summer residency at Seton Hill. This will be my…oy…20th time! http://tr.im/mNoX

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Reading “Morbid Curiosity Cures the Blues” ARC - coming from Scribner this October. See http://www.lorenrhoads.c…

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(A personal favorite)


riding the coaster / zombies await down below / I throw up my arms

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When @Gorify says “It’s taco time” I find myself filled with repulsion and dread.

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(unless they are so kind enough to give me a prize, lol!)

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“Led Zeppelin and Philosophy” book coming soon! I call that cool: http://bit.ly/9ZZTx

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@nitewanderer den I bid you velkom zu de hownt. (On the internet, no one knows you’re a vampire). The Haunt is at: http://tr.im/nVCO

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Surely you’ve heard of THE HAUNT — the ‘myspace for horror fans’ website? If not, sign up here. http://tr.im/nVCO

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Bram Stoker Award ceremony is this weekend. Won’t be there for once, but will watch the web site: http://www.stokers2009.c…

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Any magazine writers out there want to review a neat poetry book by Chris Conlon about serial killer Starkweather? If so, DM or Email me.

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It is unfortunate that the entire squad of Law and Order: Criminal Intent — superlative actors, all — look like vampires.

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@Satans_Thong lol Yes, Satan, it is strange. You’d be inkpotent.

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Sadly, CRAYOLAMAN, Man of Cray, cannot withstand sunlight. He melts into a beautiful rainbow of puddleguts.

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WITNESS THE UNCANNY POWER OF CRAYOLAMAN to always color within the lines…by redrawing them with his mighty black crayon!

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BEHOLD THE POWER OF CRAYOLAMAN. He shoots deadly crayons — 64 colors — from his nostrils (which double as sharpener).

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Read a good interview with the monster haiku meister @RyanMecum here: http://kellyrfineman.liv…

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Today I joined the International Thriller Writers: http://www.thrillerwrite…

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Can you read Polish? New translation of my flash fiction (called “Pop-Up Killer”) just went live at Minimal Books: http://tr.im/nOWX

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RT @raingodd “…finished Mike Arnzen’s chapbook [Skull] Fragments…review up on my blog…Simply put: Amazing.” Gracias, SC!

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New blog post to “The Popular Uncanny” about Maxtor’s (scary?) “Save Your Life” ad campaign: http://tr.im/nMWH

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Gracias @Marawitch ! RDSP is publishing great titles. & good luck in the free book contest at http://tr.im/n3iL

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Tweet of Darkness: “The . The .”

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RT @Gorify @saskboy: A friend just told me that YouTube, Twitter and Facebook were going to merge. The new name will be “You Twit Face”.

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My website, redesigned! Subscribe to the newsletter. Enter the contest. Leave a comment. Please help warm up the house: http://tr.im/nhLl

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LOL @jodydiperna ! I heard the RW’s practice with pucks made of the vertebral discs of actual Penguins. Cold hearted monsters.

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@Marawitch Have you heard of D. Harlan Wilson’s book, “Blankety Blank”? Your post reminded me of it. Check http://rawdogscreaming.c…

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Great SF film trailer…and whatta website! District-9. http://d-9.com/

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Just noticed Guide Dog Books updated their catalog with info on Jeff VanderMeer’s cool upcoming book MONSTROUS CREATURES http://tr.im/nEfK

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Substitute “weirdo” for “auto” whenever possible. “I’m working on my weirdobiography” and “I drive a fancy weirdomobile.” “Weirdomatic!”

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If you like art & classic films, check out TheAuteurs.com It’s like a film school alternative to Netfl@theauteurseurs

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@RealCliveBarker : a self-port would be so generous! But anything iconic from your vast collection with yr signature style would be fab.

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RT@RealCliveBarker There are writers awake across the country right now, finding words for thoughts or memories the light of day forbade us.

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@RealCliveBarker I like the new avatar, too, but if you change it, you should seriously use an image from one of your paintings, Mr. B!

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Car Accident or Rock Song?: “Saabbath Bloody Saabbath”

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Going through old files. Finding a handful of my poetry chapbooks have fallen out of print this past season. Makes me want to write more.

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RT @Jerubuntu Deuxième chronique (et 2e chronique YoZone) pour “Skull Fragments” : http://bit.ly/orjtH (2nd review of Skull Fragments)

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Just saw that our retractable tape measure is a “Slaymaker” brand. Heavy in hand. Sharp metal edges. Wound lengths up to 25’! :-)

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Overheard from a TV commercial: “Are you suffering from a mental illness? Then call the law firm of…” Um, yes, I’d be crazy to call you.

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Writers of microfiction: the latest issue of FlashFictionFlash came out today. Rec’d! Visit http://groups.yahoo.com/…

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Reading horror poetry over morning coffee gets the day started right. Today: Mortician’s Tea by G.O. Clark. Excerpts here: http://tr.im/npNC

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