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THE GORELETTER:

Arnzen's Weird Newsletter

http://www.gorelets.com

+++ Vol. 2 #1, Sept 7, 2003 +++

**Stop Making Sixth Sense**

----

====BLATHER====
Blather. Wince. Repeat.

The Sixth Sense

[Haley Joel Osment: "I see dead
people."]

They say there are just five senses, but
that's not true. There are six: sight,
sound, smell, touch, taste, and seeing
dead people.

But wait: isn't seeing still seeing, even
if it's seeing what nobody else can
see? And why couldn't Bruce Willis
apply his own five senses and realize
he was a ghost when he couldn't see,
hear, smell, taste or touch himself?
Wouldn't that be a form of blindness,
rather than seeing?

Okay, it's only a movie (The Sixth
Sense, 1999). And I should say that I
really enjoy all stories about psychic
phenomena to some degree. But I'm
pretty skeptical of real world ESP.
Folks who claim to have some "power"
that the rest of us don't have seem oh
so 15th century.

As a teacher, I've encountered
students who claim to be psychic who
still raise their hands and ask
questions or who still somehow
manage to fail final exams. Uncanny!

I do believe in intuition and I recognize
that some folks are more tuned into
their senses than others. But if there
were a sixth sense, everyone would
know about it and there would be no
debating whatsoever. There would be
schools in refining it. The government
would have a branch of ESP warriors
that would put Phillip K. Dick novels to
shame. And the sense would already
be widely exploited by pornographers,
prostitutes, and movie moguls, whose
business it is to turn human sensations
into cheap thrills for profit.

[Horny Joel Osment: "I see //sexy//
people!"]

Also, given the likelihood of handicaps
in any given population, we would have
our share of notorious blind seers, deaf
hearers, noseless smellers, tasteless
tasters and insensitive feelers. Do you
know any? Do they have their own 900
line?

"Sensing" is a matter of interpretation.
Have you ever eaten a meal that
tasted like cardboard to you and like
manna to someone else? Same thing
goes with any sixth sense. One
person's ghost is another person's
imaginary friend. This is how working
psychics make their bread and butter:
on uncertainty and the degree to which
phenomena are open to interpretation.

While I will agree that there is always
more than meets the eye and that the
human sensorium only gives us a
partial view of "reality," psychic
phenomena usually isn't some scary
power, but a wish-fulfillment. I guess
this is obvious. Maybe you even
knew that I was going to say that....

Nevertheless, there are two
psychological definitions of a sixth
sense that I accept: proprioception
and synesthesia.

"Proprioception" is actually discussed
in the poetry textbook I use in my
classes, as an example of the "sixth
sense." It's actually scientific.
Proprioception is a sort of peripheral
"vision" of the body. It's all about body
orientation; a sense of balance and
movement that you don't always
consciously recognize or respond to.
It's the autonomic sense, the one
responsible for "feeling" things like, say
the knucklebones popping in your
fingers or the muscles tightening in
their sleeves of flesh. Proprioception is
what state troopers test when they
make drunks close their eyes and
touch their nose with their fingers.

Think of phantom limb phenomena --
that sensation we all get after we lose
our leg in a freak boating accident.
We've all been there. We feel our legs
moving even when they're no longer
attached at the hip! That's
proprioception at work.

Or how about when your arm "falls
asleep" as if it had a mind of its own? It
buzzes like crazy, sure, but did you
ever stop to consider all those
nightmares that sleeping arm has
about barbells and immunization
shots? Proprioception again. You can't
pronounce it but you've got it.

Some scientists claim the sixth sense
is not so much an "extra" sense as it is
a combination of what we already
have: a "synesthesia." Like anesthesia
(which means a lack of sensation) this
refers to an anomalous brain disorder
where the lobes gets their wires
crossed and the senses seemingly
synthesize, or fuse together. You smell
numbers. Rock songs taste like
barbecue sandwiches. You can
actually feel your lover's voice in your
eardrum, gentle as a fleshy cotton
swab....

Wait. That's the sickth sense.

[Staley Joke Osment: "I hear dead
people...and they're groaning!"]

In any case, these extra sensory
perceptions are really what fiction
writers and poets are after: ways of
describing unreal phenomena that both
feel as natural as the muscles under
your skin and yet also bring your
senses to life in a new way. You don't
need six of them to experience it.
Writers use metaphoric language,
"synthesizing" sensory adjectives with
nouns they don't rightfully belong with,
like "sharp cheese" or "bitter memory."
The sixth sense, whether it exists as a
mental power or not, is always already
housed in the imagination. And the
imagination often doesn't need to
make //any// sense at all.

[Scaley Joe Osmental: "I see living
dead people. And they taste like
chicken!"]

====ONLINE GIZMO OF THE MONTH====

"The Gender Genie"

Paste a snippet of text into this online
form at BookBlog.net, and -- applying
an algorithm from groundbreaking
linguistic research -- the Gender Genie
will determine whether the writer is
male or female!

How is this possible?!

In a nutshell, it assumes that men write
more about objects than women, who
tend to write more often about
relationships. Whether that's hogwash
or not, the Genie is apparently right
80% of the time. Are you?

Check to see if you're unknowingly
writing in drag. Or test one of those
ambiguously-gendered author names
and/or suspicious-looking
pseudonyms. Or do some detective
work on your Instant Message buddies.
The Gender Genie won't grant any of
your wishes but it's lots of fun to, um,
fool around with.

<del>bookblog.net/gender/genie.html</del>

====INSTIGATION: TWISTED PROMPTS FOR SICKO WRITERS====

+ Do something devilish with a
character who is a glass blower.

+ Describe a seance from the
viewpoint of the spirit realm.

+ Begin a piece by describing a
disturbing piece of art.

Instigation is now a WEEKLY
department in Hellnotes newsletter:
http://www.hellnotes.com

If you publish something instigated by
this department, let me know at
arnzen@gorelets.com and I'll mention
it here!

====NOT DEAD YET: PRINT REVIEWS====

Headhunter, by Tim Curran, is the first
chapbook published by Dark Animus
Press and it's quite an impressive
debut. The story -- about an encounter
with evil in the deepest jungles of
Vietnam -- is a knockout war fable and
a very satisfying tale of horror,
combining old school supernaturalism
with modern day shock. The cover art
by Les Peterson is simply gorgeous
(and he offers copious interior illos to
accompany the story). The bonus short
story in the back of the book -- "Friday
Night Freak Show" -- illustrated this
time by GW Thomas -- is a lot of dark
fun, providing a well-earned comic
relief from the unflinching horror of the
novella in the book proper.

Tim Curran is fairly new on the horror
scene, but his work is appearing
everywhere in the small press these
days and everything I've read by him
has been genuinely good. If you
haven't read him yet, and you're
looking for a good war story, pick up
Headhunter and you won't be
disappointed.

Headhunter is probably as much about
a mythic "devil that hunts heads" as it
is about the horror of the Vietnam
experience. And for all its spookiness,
every sentence in this book drips with
dark realism. The story rings so true to
'Nam and yet it's a fantasy story about
the dreams and nightmares of the
grunt soldier cast into the jungle. From
its grim "reapers" of green facepaint to
the Vietnamese legends and ghost
stories, this book jumps right into the
battlefield of fear.

Curran knows how to write
atmosphere. Headhunter will
decapitate you with its breathless
power. Tim Curran's metaphors zing
like bullets past a Kevlar helmet -- they
come out of nowhere and almost take
your head off. His characters sound
like they've been there, dug into the
muck of a war that nobody wanted. If
you only know Vietnam from the
history books, this novella will scar you
and I don't think you'll ever look at that
war -- or any conflict -- the same way
again.

Because of its unforgettable brutality,
this is not an easy novella to read, but
that's also precisely why you must read
it. It'll traumatize you and haunt you
long after you've put it down.
Headhunter is an important addition to
the literature of the Vietnam war -- and
certainly to the horror genre. Tim
Curran will win a lot of fans with this
one. Headless, I now count myself
among them.

http://www.darkanimus.com

[A discount coupon for Headhunter
appears elsewhere in this issue!]

====WEIRD SITES OF THE MONTH====

Know Your Dead

Who's Alive and Who's Dead?
http://www.whosaliveandwhosdead.com

Dead or Alive?
http://www.deadoraliveinfo.com/dead.nsf

Celebrity Death Beeper
http://www.celebritydeathbeeper.com

Dead People Server
http://www.dpsinfo.com/dps/index.html

====GORELETS: Unpleasant Poems====

Fun with Ganglion

Tie to stick and tease\\
or tickle the imaginary cat.\\
Dry on rack, break off branches\\
and serve as garnish with lung.\\
Suspend from thin wire in aquarium;\\
fool the fish with your human seaweed.\\
Ball up and bind; use to sponge-paint\\
pink patterns on living room wall.\\
Chew like gum; violently cough\\
when clowning with the kiddies\\
and slip gently free from jaws before\\
tugging maniacally as a magician\\
on the rainbow of wet tourniquets\\
spooling from the mouth.\\

====ARNZEN NEWS====

+ CyberPulp Digital Paperbacks tells
me that my e-chapbook of twisted
poems about sports, SPORTUARY,
will be available by Sept 15th.

In his review for THE DREAM
PEOPLE, writer Gary West summed it
up wonderfully: "Sportuary is the
culmination of what could happen if
sport and the win at all costs attitude it
breeds were to go unchecked, and the
dark side were to take over. Plus, it is
one hell of a fun read...."

Featuring original color paintings by
Marcia Borell, this thirty page e-book
will be just three bucks!

(While you're waiting for Sportuary,
you might want to pick up Bruce
Boston's $3 poetry book at CyberPulp,
called Head Full of Strange. I loved it!)

<del>cyberpulp.netfirms.com/</del>\\
<del>cyberpulpbooks.com/</del>\\
<del>gorelets.com/demos/sportuarysampler.htm</del>\\

+ I've learned that two of my pieces
from last year were listed as
"Honorable Mention" in the latest
volume (#16) of The Year's Best
Fantasy & Horror (edited by Ellen
Datlow and Terry Windling; a must
read every year!). The pieces
recommended are "Halloween Pie" (a
poem from Rogue Worlds #7) and
"Tugging the Heartstrings" (a short-
short from Flashquake #2.2). The
latter is still archived online if you
missed it:

<del>flashquake.org/archive/vol2iss2/</del>\\
<del>fictionwise.com/servlet/mw?a=jump&u=/ebooks/eBook16421.htm&id=4004</del>

+ At Horrorfind convention, two
publishers handed me hot-off-the-
press copies of magazines I appear in,
both debuting new formats. Flesh and
Blood magazine, which features my
ode to mortuary work, "Heartfelt" (issue
13) debuted in all its full-sized, glossy-
covered, bright-colored glory this
month. And Kevin Donihe's magazine,
Bare Bone (issue 4), which has always
been sparse in its "bare" white cover,
has now gone to color illustrated
covers in a perfect-bound format that
not only looks really sharp but is really
substantial in size for the price. If you
haven't read these horror magazines
yet, you're really missing out on some
great stories and poems. Both
magazines are available through the
venerable shocklines.com bookstore,
or you can read about them here:

<del>horrorseek.com/horror/fleshnblood/issue13.htm</del>
<del>users.chartertn.net/mbs/kldwriter/
</del>
+ Many people have recently reported
communication problems with Dark
Vespers, the publisher for my
upcoming book, Freakcidents. To be
safe, I recommend you place your pre-
order through shocklines.com because
Shocklines Bookstore will not charge
you until the book is actually shipped. I
am confident that this book will be
available eventually.

http://www.shocklines.com

+ Disappointing news: I'm sorry to
report that Grave Markings Extreme --
the sculpted leather-bound Tenth
Anniversary Edition planned for my
Stoker-winning novel -- has been
canceled by Double Dragon
Publishing. (If another publisher picks it
up you'll be the first to know.) DDP,
however, still plans to release the e-
book version of Gorelets: Unpleasant
Poetry at the same time that the print
version comes out from Fairwood
Press. Either one is really special.
Forthcoming this Halloween!

http://www.fairwoodpress.com
http://www.double-dragon-ebooks.com

+ Thanks to every HWA member
reading this who has nominated The
Goreletter for the Bram Stoker Award
in "Alternate Media" so far.

http://www.horror.org/stokers.htm

====OUR ODD TRIPLE FEATURE====

"Studies in Exploding Heads "

For your next movie night, rent:\\
Scanners (1981)\\
Mars Attacks (1996)\\
Wild Zero (2000)\\

====BONUS GIZMO: CONTEST EDITION!====

Last issue, I announced the debut of
The Sickolodeon --
<del>http://www.gorelets.com/premium/</del> --
and gave free "Bitpasses" to winners of
a guessing game. It was such fun, I've
decided to run another one! And this
one's even more difficult....

To win, you have to beat my Giant
Monster in a battle to the death. What
the hell am I talking about? Go to this
web site and be sure to follow the
directions closely. (Note that you must
use your last name to play):

<del>gorelets.com/gorelets/geoblie.html</del>

====DATA + ERRATA = DRATTA====

Did you know you can search and
browse back issues of The Goreletter?
If you're a new subscriber, check out
what you've missed at:

<del>gorelets.com/cgi-bin/mojo/mojo.cgi?f=list&l=goreletter</del>

Did you know that a horror poem is
hidden in the virtual PDA on the front
page at gorelets.com, and that a new
one is slipped in there every couple of
weeks?

http://www.gorelets.com

Congrats again to Cathy Buburuz, Pam
Kimmell, and Marge Simon for winning
the "Snippets of the Strange" contest
last issue.

====BOO COUPONS====

It actually pays to scroll this far down.

LAST CHANCE: CEMETERY POETS
This is the final month to take
advantage of this exclusive discount.
Visit the hidden page below to take
10% off CEMETERY POETS, a unique
200-page long hardcover collection of
work by 17 different poets. You get
tons of dark poetry, a collection of
vignettes, and even a special section
of poetry by all the poets, drawn from
the "Fridge of the Damned" virtual
fridge magnets from gorelets.com. This
is a really special book. Order before
Oct 1st before this opportunity is gone
forever:

<del>gorelets.com/demos/cempoesale.html</del>

FICTIONWISE ARNZEN EXCLUSIVE
Enter the info below at check out and
receive 20% off any Arnzen e-books in
your shopping cart at Fictionwise.com:

Coupon Code: Arnzen2003
One time only. Expires 9/29.

Otherwise, continue to shop for e-
books at this special 15% off page for
Goreletter subscribers, which is
updated weekly. This week's features
include the "Monsters" anthology
edited by Martin Greenberg and "I,
Vampire," the classic anthology of
mock interviews w/monsters edited by
Forrie Ackerman!

<del>fictionwise.com/fwa/4004/</del>

SHOCKLINES BOOKSTORE
Shocklines.com is giving Goreletter
subscribers a break on Tim Curran's
book, Headhunter (reviewed in this
issue). Until October 6th, if you enter
coupon code GORELETHEAD2 when
you check out, you'll get the book for
just $7 (that's 30% off!).

<del>store.yahoo.com/shocklines/hebytimcubli.html</del>
http://www.shocklines.com

FLESH AND BLOOD PRESS
Get any available back issues of Flesh
& Blood magazine for 30% off. Free
shipping and handling on all
purchases. Make payment to Jack
Fisher with a note mentioning this
discount and send to: Jack Fisher, 121
Joseph St., Bayville, NJ 08721

<del>fleshandbloodpress.com</del>

DARK ANIMUS DEAL
Mention "The Arnzen Special" to
publisher James Cain when you
subscribe to Dark Animus magazine,
and you'll get a 5 issue subscription for
a 4 issue price. Subscriptions costs
$25 US and can be paid via PayPal to
skullmnky@hotmail.com. Learn more
about this weird Aussie mag here:

http://www.darkanimus.com/

====COLOPHON====
All material in The Goreletter is:
(c) 2003 Michael A. Arnzen, unless
otherwise noted. All rights reserved.
Permission is granted to forward the
entire contents as a whole, without
alterations or excisions. For reprint
permissions of individual pieces,
please contact arnzen@gorelets.com.

This newsletter is formatted in one
skinny column to accommodate
handheld computer users. If you own a
PDA, try The Goreletter as a free
Mazingo channel at:
<del>mazingo.net/pc/subscribe.php?site_id=1552&src=111</del>

Subscribe, unsubscribe, and shout out
about The Goreletter at:
http://www.gorelets.com

Our surrealist product endorsement:
http://thesurrealist.co.uk/priorart.cgi?ref=The+Goreletter

====PITHY MORBID THOUGHTS====

"People always think that a man
commits suicide for a reason. But he
may very well commit suicide for //two//
reasons." -- Albert Camus (died 1960)

----
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